Monday, September 13, 2010

They hated these outfits, but I adore them!

"Me & T*^%#*: hating these dresses..." (via)

Okay, it's been a while since I've posted. Too many blogs, too little time...
But, while I know the dresses above are somewhat mediocre in the annals of My Parents Made Me Wear This history-the outfits below are just too fantastic.

"more goofy outfits." (via)

Goofy? What the heck is she talking about? French, sailory stripes-with bow ties? There are times here when I just have to disagree with the wearer-now is one of them. Sometimes, ungrateful damn kids just don't know how good they have it!!!!

Okay people-I am Back. Prepare for more greatness.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Quack if you love Santa

"The caption should be "Hm, what flavor did you say this was again?" That, and "I can't believe mom made me wear this. Again." (via)

Mama Duck said Quack!
Wear that Santa outfit kid.
Duck for Christmas? Yum.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Dressed up all Dressy, in a Dress

"4th grade school picture. Hmmm. Nice Hair. Nice dress. Mother, what were you thinking?" (via)

Straight hair sure can be a curse.
parts don't lie flat and can look worse,
when paired with polyester dress,
Oh My Goodness-what a mess.

I wore a dress like this one day,
For a Bar Mitzvah,
Oh, Oy Vey!

Ruffled neck, clown suit I think,
and in a lovely shade of pink.
Satin ribbon at the edge,
The shoes? I wish they had a wedge.

Arms crossed in front,
Such a good girl,
and in the 80s-I bet a curl.

Perms back then were all the rage,
if you and I are the same age.
My friends all made that mistake too,
but none for me-except a tattoo.

That was later,
enough said,
But there were better times ahead.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Happy Birthday USA, circa 1976

"The year was 1976. Our nation's bicentennial. The parents at Center School in Mattapoisett Massachusetts thought it'd be neat to dress their children up as if it were 1776. That's me, front left, in blue. My mum made that dress for me; it was a little too long and I remember tripping over the hem and falling off the bus at our field trip to the little antique schoolhouse, where we spent the day in cramped little wooden desks, writing on slates." (via)

Our fans are the greatest,
It's really quite clearly,
and this photo I really,
love oh so dearly.

Bicentennial fun,
at least for the teachers,
dressing kids up as colonial creatures.

I also went Bicentennial too
(showing my age,No-I'm not scared to do.)
My school photos, however, were not as much fun,
I only wish they'd been this overdone.

With schooling to match-
chalk boards and a schoolhouse,
All of you dressed up,
as cute as a mouse.

Thank you for sharing, our fun little friend.
For post of the year, you will surely contend.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Bonnet, bonnet-who's wearing the bonnet?

"My mother took her Holly Hobbie obsession just a wee bit too far. That or she thought I should have been living out on the prairie with Laura Ingalls. Either way the hat is toooo much. Bonnet, definitely a bonnet. And what makes this ensemble especially fabulous is that I think my grandmother made it. *sigh*" (via)

Why couldn't this woman's mother have been my mother? The friggin' ingrate. I would have killed for that bonnet, but, ahem, without the duck.

Let me just explain my bonnet obsession:
It all goes back to Star Trek. Yeah, you know the movie. The one where they put some creepy thing in the ears of two crew members. Was it Scotty? I can't remember. Either way, it scared the hell out of me. After seeing that movie, I hid my fear. Each night, I crept out of bed, slowly, quietly, to my dresser. Steathily, I removed the bonnet from my drawer. Why did I have a bonnet? No idea. But you know what it was good for? Ear Protection! Ear wigs, which I knew nothing about, and those creepy Star Trek things.
Bonnets--necessary for protection and security. Parents--there are certain movies your child SHOULD NOT SEE.

(Another one? Invasion of the Body Snatchers, the Donald Sutherland one. Bad idea to let your 7-year-old see that. I'm just sayin'.)

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Holy Mullet!

"What was my mom thinking!!!" (via)

Shaggy bits of hair
touch your collar in the back
Hockey hair is nice.

I like the stripey
sweater, gold and blue and red
matches spiky hair.

Mom wanted her boy
to look so nice for pictures,
for laughter later.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Crossing Guard in Charge!

"1st day of 5th grade. I was a crossing guard! what an honor. My mom always made me wear this outfit. I really didn't like it. Notice the matching socks and bow." (via)

Yellow is good for
visibility when you
direct the traffic.

Big Boss Lady on
the road as mini-vans come
to school in morning.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Baby Blue for this Blue, Blue Baby

"I hated this outfit." (via)

Is it Go Fug Yourself that immortalized the phrase "tights are not pants"?

I agree, especially when paired with some scuffed Buster Browns. And let's be clear-this pair of was clearly meant for ballet only. My ballet teacher would have been horrified.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Advice for Prospective Parents

"Reasons I Hate Holidays-Easter 1980
This fashion abomination comes straight outta the dawn of the 80's. Let's do a checklist, shall we?
Brown trousers. Check.
Involuntary home perm. Check.
Too-wide clog shoes. Check.
Herb Tarlek-inspired sport jacket. Check.

To make things even more picturesque is the gigantic dirt pile in the background. Neither the front OR back yard was finished when we moved into the house, and the springtime rains turned our 'lawn' (and I used the term very, very loosely) into something that resembled the consistency of Hormel Chili for 'months' on end." (via)

If only I'd seen this before I became a parent--the things I've done to my son which combine Hormel chili, brown trousers, and a home perm certainly mean therapy to come.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

It's a Family Affair or, some outfits just do the work for me

"Color Coordinated!" (via)

Socks with sandals are ALWAYS a good thing.
You know what else I love? That big ass phone her little brother is holding.

"What's with the outfit?" (via)

Um, I believe she is talking about her own outfit, which is not great, but her brother is AMAZING. The vest. The fringe! FRINGE! Was this some kind of Glam-Rock outfit, designed to be worn with platform boots and full make-up? For what occasion would you wear an outfit like this?? So many questions!!

"Another stupid dress." (via)

The dress, which looks ridiculously warm and polyester for what is clearly a warm setting, is awful in and of itself--and way too long for her.

But what I really want to see? The print on brother's shirt. Baby boy? You rock.

Monday, July 12, 2010

I love the 80s

"I don't like this one too much...Also I don't like the ridiculous shirt my mother made me wear." (via)

Things I remember from the 80s:

Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
Parachute Pants.
Acid Wash.
Paint Splatter t-shirts made in my backyard.
Jams, and pretending I was interested in surfing.
Rolled Sleeves. Rolled Jeans.
Guess jeans, with zippers on the ankles for girls.
My cousin asking if visiting me would "really be like that movie Escape from New York."
Scrunchy socks.
Reebok hightops I never had.
Ocean Pacific.
Buying my first Prince album.
D**** C**** (Yeah, you know who you are. Sigh.)

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Greek Tragedy

"Yes, I'm still speaking to my parents." (via)

Overalls sublime
How they are Greek, I don't know
Red shoes make the look.

Family picnic?
Curly hair and big 'ol sneer
You own that lawn chair

Monday, July 5, 2010

Planning Ahead

"The most awful posed portrait ever. Sorry, Mom, Dad, but I have always hated this portrait. And yet, I'm sharing it with the world...Let me count the reasons - the baby fat, the bad hair, the pink frilly dress, the orange sport coat paired with a yellow shirt, the ugly "antiquing", and the syrupy smile. Basically, it's just not me." (via)

I love this Victorian-style photo, which I can easily picture in black and white or perhaps a daugerreotype. And I think this young one is misreading the orange sport coat. This was simply a case of parents looking out for the child's future career opportunities.

Century 21 anyone?

This lovely men's jacket, for Century 21, is full polyester, for only $59! What a bargain!

The women's jacket is even more flattering, but alas, only available to Century 21 realtors and agents!

See? These parents weren't dressing their children badly--they were looking out for their future!

Friday, July 2, 2010

My dad should have been in DEVO

"Hair apparent.
It's rare to find that family portrait where everyone is sporting their worst-hair-look-ever simultaneously.
I have my hair pulled back into one of my mom's patented 'ponytails so tight it will make your ears ring,' which luckily doesn't make me look dorky at all, no sirree. My dad has some kind of weird military/plastic Devo wig hybrid going on, and Mom's hair is so damn huge that she's topppling sideways from the weight of it." (via)

And the boys in the front just look dang shell-shocked.
In the family honor, a poem:

Girl with buck-teeth and
plaid dress and devo stylins
Dad is a hipster.

Mom's hair is heavy
clearly not as cool as the
dude man she married.

Isn't it great when
the Dad is the coolest one
in the family?

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Me and Mr. Chips

"Me and Mr. Chips in the 1970's. I hated this outfit-my mother made me wear it!" (via)

Hide me, Mr. Chips! Let me scrunch down behind you and hide me before Mother catches me on film in this sailor suit!

Oh Mr. Chips, I'm just a poor prepubescent boy, forced to do whatever Mother wants. What if she tries to take me to the club in this outfit? I'm doomed, Mr. Chips, doomed! The fellas will never let me forget it!

Alas, Mr. Chips, can you save me?

Friday, June 25, 2010

I just wish I knew the right Led Zeppelin lyrics

to go with this outfit. Are there any?

"1st grade picture. I can't stand my hair in this picture! What was my mom thinking? My grandparents brought this dress back from Germany for me. My sister got one too. Still have them. Do I look like Dodi from 'My Three Sons' or what?
This was also the year that Led Zeppelin got its start...weird!" (via)

What I like here is that her outfit is clearly an homage to a Starship Enterprise uniform. Live long and prosper, baby.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Come Take a Ride in my 'Vette, Baby

"Oh-no Xmas. My brothers are 'modeling' their new Christmas presents-personalized tees from TShirts Plus! Where's mine?
I hated this dress and my new haircut." (via)

You know what her real problem is? She's the younger sister of Hot, Dazed & Confused-style older brothers. Never a good situation for a girl. I mean, I practically have retro-active crushes on these guys...

Monday, June 21, 2010

Welcome to a Welcome to the Dollhouse moment

"Yeah. Ummm...does my aversion to pink now make sense to everyone?
Okay,'s not bad enough that I am the dorky kidd who won the school final in the French-Speaking contest and earned a trip to the provincial championships in lovely Edson, Alberta? Do you have to send me up on stage looking like A) a librarian chaperoning a junior prom, or B) an Easter pageant entry from hell?And what, my legs weren't white enough already? How hard did you have to look to find me a pair of nylons whiter than the natural albino tone I was already brandishing? Man, it's no wonder that my grade-six heart throb H*** K***, featured here to my left in some classy sneakers that must have made his mom proud, never batted an eyelash in my direction." (via)

Here's what I think of when I look at the photo on the right:

Dawn Weiner anyone?

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Lonely Boy

"I hate this outfit." (via)

The comments section of this photo says it better than I ever could--"I could never understand why jumpers never caught on for boys. Oh, right, because they make upright pissing impossible."

Just a word of fashion caution--Jumpers are good for NO ONE. For girls, anything that requires that you almost completely disrobe to take a pee is NOT a good thing.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Is it Oktoberfest already?

"I HATED this outfit." (via)

Really? That's not clear in this photo. You look so happy, little one. Green velvet, red knee socks-what's not to love?

Thursday, June 10, 2010

A Family Affair?

These parents either:
1. Had a great sense of Humor
2. Had an ax to grind
3. Hated the very idea of children
4. Aspired to a future of family laughter, at their children's expense.
5. Used some kind of discount coupons only redeemable at a store where everything had to be purchased in multiples.

"I LOVE this set of photos...I hated the matching outfits...but I managed to fake a smile. PJ was just completely unable to deal." (via)

PJ--I feel your pain, baby boy. Were you going sailing, in nursing scrub colors?

"The coats sort of conceal this fact, but the pants are a giveaway. MORE MATCHING OUTFITS." (via)

I am not sure that a sweatsuit actually constitutes an "outfit." And again--the scrubs green. Perhaps these parents actually just aspired to careers in medicine for their kids?

"Christmas 1990. Yes, more matching outfits." (via)

The Holiday sweater--always a good finale. (Is there such a thing as a Hanukah sweater?)

Monday, June 7, 2010


"Wow. So yeah, one of my mother's hobbies involved putting me and P*** in matching outfits, color-coordinated with our bedroom, and taking what felt like endless photos. I look like I should be saying 'bored now!' here." (via)

I could care less about these children's matching outfits, but I want that poster so much I could just spit. Okay, and the red carpet with the funky blue wall is pretty rockin' too. This mom had it going on.
I think these children are just ungrateful. Yeah--that's it. They didn't DESERVE these outfits, or that poster which I should have, now.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Rockin' the Bill Bixbys

What were my parents thinking when they got me this outfit?" (via)

Is this seriously a question?? Did the man not look at the curtains behind him?

More importantly--this photo made me instantly think of Bill Bixby. No--not as Bruce Banner in The Incredible Hulk. I'm speaking, of course, of Bill's role in this little known gem, Goodnight Beantown. Recognize these glasses from anywhere?

That's right. Our little friend above was simply rockin' the Bill Bixbys.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Happy Graduation Day

"Lower School Graduation. I swear my mom made me wear that dress. I HATE IT" (via)

On the verge of teen
Body set to grow up soon
Mom still picks your dress

You look like you are
Terrified of seventh grade
Now that Six is done

Shell Shock on your face
No room for you to smile
Teacher peeks around

Monday, May 24, 2010

Where's the flood?

"R**** and J*** in matching highwater pants and pink shirts buttoned to the top. What was my mom thinking!?!?" (via)

Here's what mom was thinking--you are out in a field, there could be large piles of cow dung and should you step in one, you'd only have to change your shoes and the pants would still be clean.

The shirt? Those I have no explanation for.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Jump up for joy

"The continuing saga of my embarrassing childhood.
I was trying desperately to make this outfit look cool. Sigh, I don't think anyone could." (via)

Jumpsuit unbuttoned
Is it to make it cooler?
It is still Hot Stuff.

Let's not even talk
about your orthopedic
shoes with white laces

Faux ivy growing
from your puke green shagginess
Mickey likes it all

Is that man behind
trying to do the hustle?
Pink pants are snazzy.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Ahoy there Sailor(s)

"yes, my early childhood was filled with lots of matching outfits." (via)

Hey there sailor boy, and boy, and girl
Your freak flag? It does unfurl.

You ride a horse, out to sea?
The mix of themes confuses me.

Sailor hats, like a beret
Should I enter in the fray?

Sunset clouds, pink and blue
Background pales next to you

Three Musketeers you siblings are
A I admire from Afar.

Friday, May 14, 2010

What the hell is a Kipper Tie?

"Yeah, yeah, kipper tie!...can't believe my mum dressed me in a shirt and tie to just PLAY!....But, look closely, (I'm 4 or 5 here, back in 1972/3) at that train tunnel...upside down!!" (via)

At myparentsmademewearthis, I am all about your education. Thus--what is a Kipper Tie?
"A Kipper Tie is a type of necktie primarily fashionable in Britain in the mid 1960s to late 1970s. The primary characteristics of the kipper tie are its extreme breadth and often garish colors and patterns." (via)

How did these ever go out of fashion??

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Safari Time, in Pink

"My Mum and I.
Yes, it's me in my bubblegum pink safari suit. My mum dressed me in safari suits if we went to the zoo, birdpark or anywhere with a lot of animals!!!!!
Seconds after this photo, the horse tried to eat my scarf. I was delighted of course!!!!!" (via)

I love your outfit
Bubblegum Safari Girl
Sometimes Mom is right.

Monday, May 10, 2010

My Uncle Made Me Do It

"OMG! This photo is dated. You see me, my sister, and one of my uncles. I guess I'm about 4-5 years old here, with my sister being 2 years younger. You can't blame us for those matching hand-made, multi-colored outfits! It seems my uncle was getting married, judging from the bouquet in his hands. The hairdo, the throatcut collar, the bell bottoms, and the glasses (are horrible) must have been very fashionable." (via)

This Uncle, and these outfits, completely f---in' rock. As does that car--and where the heck are those license plates from?

I really wish I had an uncle who kicked this much butt.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

It's all Mom's fault--and we love her for it.

A quick post today--because I'm spending the weekend with my mother, of course! Get off the computer now and send your mother a card!

For now, let's think about what mother's are.
Mothers are always thinking about our future. Character development anyone?

"Me, circa 1973. Young, carefree, content to look like the lead in an After School Special. (My mom forced me to dress that way; it built character.)" (via)

Mothers look out for our personal safety, here and abroad.

"The only thing more embarrassing than the pink striped dress was the fact that my sister and I were dressed alike. We were traveling along and my mom wanted to make sure we wouldn't get lost. Not a chance dressed like that!!!" (via)

And of course, our mothers value our education.

"girl scouts? was never in girl scouts. Oh, that's right! It's the first day of school and my mom dressed me to match the couch. 'Preciate that Mom:) I'm just wondering at what point you decided to tie a ribbon around my neck. As if the socks weren't enough you were like "hey, I know what would make this outfit even more awesome...a bow...tied around her neck!" (via)

Mom, thanks for all you do, and to everyone, enjoy your mother's day!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Bahamanian Bell Boy

"I'm not really sure why they decided to dress me up like a Bahamanian bellboy, but apparently this is my easter outfit, a great look for me." (via)

I am a fan of the concept here--instead of the belly shirt, the belly suit. Always cute with mint green and orthopedic socks.

And clearly, this family loved their suits--here's another.

"Me in Suit.
So with this outfit it is apparent that my parents thought I should be a CPA or some sort of banker. Wow that's a horrible haircut." (via)

Alex P. Keaton, with irregular bangs, and a god-awful fireplace, clearly the preferred backdrop for all special family photos. Was this one induction day for the Young Republican's Club?

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Me and Mini Me

"Sometimes I really wonder what my mother was thinking when she dressed my sister and me..." (via)

For what occasion would outfits such as these be worn?

I am wondering if the way to tell the younger child is the short pants-pigtails versus the "big girl" outfit--long pants and hair down. Very grown-up.

My favorite? TV trays. Nice. (Do those balance well on shag?)

Monday, May 3, 2010

Toughskin Cutie

"First Day of School-September 1973. Me in that Vintage 70s' attire.
All spiffed out in hip burgundy vest, short sleeve dress shirt and cranberry red toughskins.
Christ, was what my mom thinking." (via)

Let me share something crazy with you--Sears STILL makes Toughskins!

They do not, however, make anything like the hideous crocheted vest this poor boy was saddled with. Did that belong to his older sister? It really undermines the idea that anything else he is wearing could ever be considered "Tough."

Need a Toughskin education? Check this out:

Friday, April 30, 2010

Where is Chevy Chase in this photo?

"Ready for adventure.
Our blue Ford station wagon was packed, complete with the home made car top carrier, ready for our trip out west. My mom liked to dress us in matching bright clothes on trips so we wouldn't get lost." (via)

This photo is almost too sweet to be snarky about. But still...

Family sojourn
Ready for adventure, yes?
matching outfit joy!

Sturdy place to stow
Things that you will surely need
Plaid guarded on roof

I love Papa's hat
And Mom's scarf around her neck
Red plaid pants? Awesome.

On a holiday
But no Chevy Chase with you
I miss Christie B.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Yee Haw, Y'all

"Cowboy up ya'll...This is around 4th or 5th grade 1980 or 1981.
The school had a western theme for photos, and everyone had to have this set, complete with the hat and thing around the neck. My mom got wind of this and behold the shirt. Unbelievable." (via)

You Ride 'Em Cowboy
Casio watch on your arm
Digital is Cool

Where were you in school?
Either South in Bush country
Or on Broadway, Star!

Rodeo clothing
I love your neckerchief, boy
Feather in your cap.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Pastel Prostitutes

"This is why i blame my mother for all my problems.
Easter Sunday, 1973.
I still have arguments with her over the way she dressed us. seriously, look at these skirts. what the hell was she thinking?
To this day all i have to say to her, when discussing why I had no friends when I was younger is: YOU MADE ME WEAR A DRESS WITH A CLOCK ON IT!
Now I have to go find a picture of that dress. But for now, gaze on the ridiculousness of these easter outfits. Was she training us to be a weird posse of pastel hookers?" (via)

Pastel Hookers? All I can think of is my girl Donna.

Toot toot, ahhhh, beep beep. (insert whistle here.)
Toot toot, ahhhh, beep beep. (insert whistle again.)

Bad girls. Talking 'bout the sad girls, yeah.
See them out on Easter day,
Sportin' all kinds of fashion,
that they mama made.

You ask yourself-
Who they are??
Like anybody else, they wanna be a star.
And they never will be in these damn ugly outfits their Mom made for them because they are so hideous and awful and way too short and they make their legs look even skinnier and how is that possible? (Okay, off song there. Sorry.)

I desperately want to sing now, just to horrify you, but my husband doesn't think I should be singing Donna Summer. Hmmm.
I must also confess that my friends and I, despite being only 8 when this song came out, had whole dance routines made up to accompany it. And those said routines included our own rendition of a prostitution stance. Shaking our hips against a lamp post-scary.

None, however, equaled this rendition with Donna--and Twiggy! I know--Twiggy? You will soon see, however, the absolute power of the rockin' spandex jumpsuit.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Tacky in the 80s

"Tacky in the 80s.
What was my mom thinking dressing me in pink ruffles?" (via)

Is that all she has to say about this? REALLY?? If I didn't have a cold, I would be doing a recitation or ditty FOR SURE. Instead, a bit of poetry:

Freaked out baby, lying there
Starting to become aware.

"Will I grow to be like them?"
Holy Crap-this photo is a gem.

Dad in t-shirt, Mom in shock,
never expecting such a flock.

All sitting low against the "sky"
The kids? As teenagers, they'd rather die!

Girl in ruffles, tongue is out.
A bit of chaos there's no doubt.

Missing teeth and funky clothes,
So much here I could expose.

The whitest family I've ever seen,
And now they grace my little screen.