Crossing Guard in Charge!

"1st day of 5th grade. I was a crossing guard! what an honor. My mom always made me wear this outfit. I really didn't like it. Notice the matching socks and bow." (via)

Yellow is good for
visibility when you
direct the traffic.

Big Boss Lady on
the road as mini-vans come
to school in morning.

It's a Family Affair or, some outfits just do the work for me

"Color Coordinated!" (via)

Socks with sandals are ALWAYS a good thing.
You know what else I love? That big ass phone her little brother is holding.


"What's with the outfit?" (via)

Um, I believe she is talking about her own outfit, which is not great, but her brother is AMAZING. The vest. The fringe! FRINGE! Was this some kind of Glam-Rock outfit, designed to be worn with platform boots and full make-up? For what occasion would you wear an outfit like this?? So many questions!!


"Another stupid dress." (via)

The dress, which looks ridiculously warm and polyester for what is clearly a warm setting, is awful in and of itself--and way too long for her.

But what I really want to see? The print on brother's shirt. Baby boy? You rock.

A Family Affair?

These parents either:

1. Had a great sense of Humor

2. Had an ax to grind

3. Hated the very idea of children

4. Aspired to a future of family laughter, at their children's expense.

5. Used some kind of discount coupons only redeemable at a store where everything had to be purchased in multiples.

"I LOVE this set of photos...I hated the matching outfits...but I managed to fake a smile. PJ was just completely unable to deal." (via)

PJ--I feel your pain, baby boy. Were you going sailing, in nursing scrub colors?

"The coats sort of conceal this fact, but the pants are a giveaway. MORE MATCHING OUTFITS." (via)

I am not sure that a sweatsuit actually constitutes an "outfit." And again--the scrubs green. Perhaps these parents actually just aspired to careers in medicine for their kids?

"Christmas 1990. Yes, more matching outfits." (via)

The Holiday sweater--always a good finale. (Is there such a thing as a Hanukah sweater?)

Ingrates!

"Wow. So yeah, one of my mother's hobbies involved putting me and P*** in matching outfits, color-coordinated with our bedroom, and taking what felt like endless photos. I look like I should be saying 'bored now!' here." (via)

I could care less about these children's matching outfits, but I want that poster so much I could just spit. Okay, and the red carpet with the funky blue wall is pretty rockin' too. This mom had it going on.

I think these children are just ungrateful. Yeah--that's it. They didn't DESERVE these outfits, or that poster which I should have, now.

Where's the flood?

"R**** and J*** in matching highwater pants and pink shirts buttoned to the top. What was my mom thinking!?!?" (via)

Here's what mom was thinking--you are out in a field, there could be large piles of cow dung and should you step in one, you'd only have to change your shoes and the pants would still be clean.

The shirt? Those I have no explanation for.

Ahoy there Sailor(s)

"yes, my early childhood was filled with lots of matching outfits." (via)

Hey there sailor boy, and boy, and girl

Your freak flag? It does unfurl.

You ride a horse, out to sea?

The mix of themes confuses me.

Sailor hats, like a beret

Should I enter in the fray?

Sunset clouds, pink and blue

Background pales next to you

Three Musketeers you siblings are

A I admire from Afar.

My Uncle Made Me Do It

"OMG! This photo is dated. You see me, my sister, and one of my uncles. I guess I'm about 4-5 years old here, with my sister being 2 years younger. You can't blame us for those matching hand-made, multi-colored outfits! It seems my uncle was getting married, judging from the bouquet in his hands. The hairdo, the throatcut collar, the bell bottoms, and the glasses (are horrible) must have been very fashionable." (via)

This Uncle, and these outfits, completely f---in' rock. As does that car--and where the heck are those license plates from?

I really wish I had an uncle who kicked this much butt.

Can I get a macrame plant holder to go with that?

"I think that this photo dates from 1971. Notice that my sister and I are sporting the Jane Fonda hairstyle from the movie 'Klute.' The vests we are wearing were handmade by our neighbors who were 3 sisters who were all old maids and sharing a house...think golden girls. Their names were Lily, Ruth, and Loretta. During the summer, while we were all outside playing, Lily would call us over and do some quick measurements. At Christmas we would receive a handmade gift from them." (via)

The story is so sweet, I am having a hard time being snarky, darn it.

Spinster sisters, crocheting away. I see rocking chairs and cats.

I consider this a my-parents moment because if the spinster lady makes it, you kinda gotta wear it! (I am fond of the constrasting colors of these vests so as not to match too precisely. Nice.)

That brother is a lucky boy--simple red sweater vest. Phew. No wonder he's grinning instead of grimacing! (But why is Santa gripping his arms so tightly?)

I'm Seeing RED!

"The twins? Our mother delighted in dressing us alike, even thought we are 18 months apart." (via)

Mom apparently also delighted in Candy Stripers and Clown collars.

Where can I get a cardboard mantel?

"Twins Part 2. No wonder I hate wearing red." (via)

"There is that damn red again...and my sister laughing at me." (via)

Here's a Poem I found, by a young writer, which I think speaks volumes about the color red. It's called "Red."

Red is a symbol of love with the heart
Like a married couple, until death do us part

Strawberries and cherries are red
Eat them with whipped cream when you're sick in bed

Red beans and rice at Popeye's
Oh chicken with red meat inside

Black and red; colors of the devil
Oh believe me I'll never be on that level

Strawberry juice is good to me
Well I guess red is the color for me"

By Cherry Roy
(and I am not lying about the child's name--I swear!)

Are you cruisin'?

"Circa 1987. My grandma made these outfits for my brother and I. He refused to wear this (can you blame him) so ***** and I had matching outfits." (via)

I picture these being made for a cruise, the entire family vacationing together, sullen brother in the room, listening to a metal hair band on his Sony Sports walkman. (The cool yellow one that looked so high tech.)

My other fantasy is The Circle Line, traveling New York harbor with Lady Liberty, guarding the wretched masses seeking freedom from handmade clothes, wherever they may haunt us.

Congratulations for standing strong, brother dear. No blousy shorts set for you!

Identical Cousins, Don't you know, in Midwest Lederhosen

"A shot from the late seventies...Grandma made us cousins matching outfits. I'm the one in the middle...and the discourse on my blog after I posted this one there (as well as a clarifying conversation with my mom) seems to indicate that I was biter in my younger years." (via)

They're cousins--Identical Cousins and you'll find.

They laugh alike, they walk alike, at times they even talk alike

You can lose your mind,

When cousins are FOUR of a kind.

For those who don't know, those sporty plaid pants would certainly be known as SLACKS-one of my favorite words to say out loud.

I call these Midwestern Lederhosen. Plaid, Pinafores, cowboy shirt, and just right for marching in an Old Home Days parade.

Happy Monday!

Technicolor Dream Outfits or "My mum rite took the piss"

I have been saving this for something special, and today felt right.
Just an ordinary Monday, about to be made extraordinary--and completely beyond my poetry skills. What follows is so amazing, it has completely taken away my funny.

"My mum rite took the piss when she dressed me when I was little" (via)

Okay, this outfit is admittedly awful, but just wait. It gets soooooo much better.



Is it a tunic? A dress with leggings? A stiff circus tent? Madison says "It looks like a clown threw up on that." Agreed, my friend.

With an outfit like this, you don't want to go subtle with the shoes either. (Mom's black flats with buckles are just so out of touch with the rest. So Marks & Spencer when compared with the fashionganza that is her top and pants.)Her youngin' has the right idea--Purple and Blue just set off the ROY G. BIV so nicely.

And today, we are not even talking about the hair. Enjoy your Monday.

They're crazy and they're kooky

They're positively spooky.

"Our parents had weird taste in clothes...The reason we both looked so glum was because I had just bullied my sister into swapping her socks with me as I thought the red ones were nices. I argued that our parents had given her the red ones (better ones) to her instead of to me because they liked her better, which I thought was mortally unfair." (via)

Alas, no poetry this morning. But running through my head is the Addams Family theme song because of how morose and Wednesday-like these two look. Turn those dresses black, add some pigtails, and the black stripy socks would be the ones they'd fight over.

By the way, TOTALLY agree that the red ones are better. Hope she worked that out in therapy later because clearly, her parents hated her.

Little Miss Hee Haw

If only it were Earth Day, this photo is so green, it would just be perfect.

"Hideous Green Outfits, September 1976.

I can't believe mom made us wear these...what on earth was she thinking???" (via)

I like that the detail goes down to the matching hairstyles. And of course, one of my faves--the sandals with socks. No one wants chilly toes!

One question--what were they wearing under the jackets and did that match too?

This woman calls her photo "Little Miss Hee Haw," and I think she is funnier about it than I could ever be.

"Even Mary Ingalls thinks I look like a hillbilly, and that chick's freaking blind.

My mom sewed this whole outfit (including the bonnet) for Rodeo Day. What? Your town didn't have a holiday where all the schools let out so the students could get their poultry gussied up for the livestock show?

It wasn't until I was in my 20's when I realized that Rodeo Day was in fact not a national holiday. Actually, I suspect my school just switched out Martin Luther King Jr. Day with Rodeo Day. Because who needs to celebrate the life of a civil rights hero who fought for equality when you could be q-tipping your bunny rabbits ears for judging? Those bunnies aren't going to groom themselves, people. Geez." (via)

Some photos feel like a present for me

My feeling is that it is always the right time for some holiday cheer.

"Matching Christmas outfits. Endlessly humiliating." (via)

I think the girl on the rocker feels fancy and fabulous. Her sister, on the other hand, has a slightly demonic look on her face. Is she rubbing her hands together like a villain, thinking of her next evil deed and laughing mischeviously?

This photo feels like a little gift to me.

"Me as a kid with my parents in our matching outfits." (via)

Much to say. Thoughts coming faster than I can type. Almost can't control myself!

Bandanna fabric--always one of my faves. I love it with the matching afghan on the back of the sofa. My grandmother made those, and why were they always in pastel colors? Perhaps acrylic yarn only comes in those colors.

Next-is Dad high in this photo? Note that both he and mom are wearing t-shirts under their bandana shirts. I assume that this is so he can remove the shirts as soon as possible, once the picture taking is over and his damn mother-in-law gets off his case for once. He's looking for a job, damnit! And if he smokes a little weed, who does it hurt?

I am also in love with Mom's barrettes. I went through a phase of holding back my bangs like that, with little kid barrettes worn when I was in my grudge, living in the pacific northwest and wearing gas station attendant jackets phase. Why couldn't I have had a bandanna shirt too???

Finally, what's up with the date on this photo? Did she take a photo of her photo? I like the low tech approach. No scanners necessary.