Thursday, July 29, 2010

Crossing Guard in Charge!

"1st day of 5th grade. I was a crossing guard! what an honor. My mom always made me wear this outfit. I really didn't like it. Notice the matching socks and bow." (via)

Yellow is good for
visibility when you
direct the traffic.

Big Boss Lady on
the road as mini-vans come
to school in morning.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Baby Blue for this Blue, Blue Baby

"I hated this outfit." (via)

Is it Go Fug Yourself that immortalized the phrase "tights are not pants"?

I agree, especially when paired with some scuffed Buster Browns. And let's be clear-this pair of was clearly meant for ballet only. My ballet teacher would have been horrified.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Advice for Prospective Parents

"Reasons I Hate Holidays-Easter 1980
This fashion abomination comes straight outta the dawn of the 80's. Let's do a checklist, shall we?
Brown trousers. Check.
Involuntary home perm. Check.
Too-wide clog shoes. Check.
Herb Tarlek-inspired sport jacket. Check.

To make things even more picturesque is the gigantic dirt pile in the background. Neither the front OR back yard was finished when we moved into the house, and the springtime rains turned our 'lawn' (and I used the term very, very loosely) into something that resembled the consistency of Hormel Chili for 'months' on end." (via)

If only I'd seen this before I became a parent--the things I've done to my son which combine Hormel chili, brown trousers, and a home perm certainly mean therapy to come.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

It's a Family Affair or, some outfits just do the work for me

"Color Coordinated!" (via)

Socks with sandals are ALWAYS a good thing.
You know what else I love? That big ass phone her little brother is holding.

"What's with the outfit?" (via)

Um, I believe she is talking about her own outfit, which is not great, but her brother is AMAZING. The vest. The fringe! FRINGE! Was this some kind of Glam-Rock outfit, designed to be worn with platform boots and full make-up? For what occasion would you wear an outfit like this?? So many questions!!

"Another stupid dress." (via)

The dress, which looks ridiculously warm and polyester for what is clearly a warm setting, is awful in and of itself--and way too long for her.

But what I really want to see? The print on brother's shirt. Baby boy? You rock.

Monday, July 12, 2010

I love the 80s

"I don't like this one too much...Also I don't like the ridiculous shirt my mother made me wear." (via)

Things I remember from the 80s:

Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
Parachute Pants.
Acid Wash.
Paint Splatter t-shirts made in my backyard.
Jams, and pretending I was interested in surfing.
Rolled Sleeves. Rolled Jeans.
Guess jeans, with zippers on the ankles for girls.
My cousin asking if visiting me would "really be like that movie Escape from New York."
Scrunchy socks.
Reebok hightops I never had.
Ocean Pacific.
Buying my first Prince album.
D**** C**** (Yeah, you know who you are. Sigh.)

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Greek Tragedy

"Yes, I'm still speaking to my parents." (via)

Overalls sublime
How they are Greek, I don't know
Red shoes make the look.

Family picnic?
Curly hair and big 'ol sneer
You own that lawn chair

Monday, July 5, 2010

Planning Ahead

"The most awful posed portrait ever. Sorry, Mom, Dad, but I have always hated this portrait. And yet, I'm sharing it with the world...Let me count the reasons - the baby fat, the bad hair, the pink frilly dress, the orange sport coat paired with a yellow shirt, the ugly "antiquing", and the syrupy smile. Basically, it's just not me." (via)

I love this Victorian-style photo, which I can easily picture in black and white or perhaps a daugerreotype. And I think this young one is misreading the orange sport coat. This was simply a case of parents looking out for the child's future career opportunities.

Century 21 anyone?

This lovely men's jacket, for Century 21, is full polyester, for only $59! What a bargain!

The women's jacket is even more flattering, but alas, only available to Century 21 realtors and agents!

See? These parents weren't dressing their children badly--they were looking out for their future!

Friday, July 2, 2010

My dad should have been in DEVO

"Hair apparent.
It's rare to find that family portrait where everyone is sporting their worst-hair-look-ever simultaneously.
I have my hair pulled back into one of my mom's patented 'ponytails so tight it will make your ears ring,' which luckily doesn't make me look dorky at all, no sirree. My dad has some kind of weird military/plastic Devo wig hybrid going on, and Mom's hair is so damn huge that she's topppling sideways from the weight of it." (via)

And the boys in the front just look dang shell-shocked.
In the family honor, a poem:

Girl with buck-teeth and
plaid dress and devo stylins
Dad is a hipster.

Mom's hair is heavy
clearly not as cool as the
dude man she married.

Isn't it great when
the Dad is the coolest one
in the family?