Come Take a Ride in my 'Vette, Baby

"Oh-no Xmas. My brothers are 'modeling' their new Christmas presents-personalized tees from TShirts Plus! Where's mine?
I hated this dress and my new haircut." (via)

You know what her real problem is? She's the younger sister of Hot, Dazed & Confused-style older brothers. Never a good situation for a girl. I mean, I practically have retro-active crushes on these guys...

Merry Christmas Monkeys from My Parents Made Me Wear This

Tonight's post is a special one, and goes to show that the things your parents made you wear do not necessarily end in childhood.

Full disclosure--In less than two years, I will be 40. I am a grown woman, with a job, a husband, a child, a house, hobbies, friends. I am a swimmer and a runner. I like to do crafty projects. Occasionally, I have one more glass of wine than I should. I watch Hoarders and am obsessed with somewhat gruesome medical documentaries like Tree Man of Borneo. I have had my driver's license for almost 23 years.

In short, I am almost a grown-up. And yet, there are still the things my mother makes me wear. Here is my Christmas Eve outfit.


As you will notice, I have opted for several means of protecting my identity--namely, the Santa Hat and my son's sunglasses. Still, nothing saves me from the embarrassment of these Sock Monkey Feetie Pajamas.

This lovely fleece item was purchased for me as a get-well present when I was recovering from oral surgery. It certainly wasn't enough that one side of my face was swollen beyond recognition, and that I was unable to chew, therefore forced to have a liquid diet while the stitches inside my mouth healed. The level of discomfort was extraordinary--so why not add incredible humiliation to the mix?

There are several remarkable things about these pajamas. First is that they are INCREDIBLY HOT. Second is that even though they are very large, they give me a total wedge. Third, they have pockets, because every woman likes to emphasize their hips and perhaps needs a container for wadded up tissues. Fourth--they have sock monkey feet!! (which do not exactly fit.) Fifth, I purchased and my son is wearing right now, a set of glow-in-the-dark space shuttle feetie pajamas. (My beloved son, I am sorry in advance.)

Would I decline to wear this item? No, I would not. The real lesson here is that no matter how old you get, there are still the things "my parents made me wear."

Happy Holidays to all, and see you after Christmas!

It's all in the family

Tonight begins with a story.

The day was gorgeous for holiday photos, and yet, little "Emma" just wasn't feeling it. 57 photos, and many tears later, here's what they got. (And mind you, her cheeks are rosy not because of a charming winter glow, but because, that's what screaming and crying do to a girl.)

She hated the red velour dress, and her 3-month-old baby sister doesn't look thrilled either. Even now, more than twenty years later, she says:

I call this one "Traumatic Christmas Card Photo Shoot of '88"

I'm particularly fond of the double-breasted velour. If this was the best final product, I hope the photographer was either paid well, or never worked again.

(Shameless plug--don't forget! I need your photos too! Email them to myparentsmademewearthis at gmail dot com)

The next is a series of family photos-Young "Sally" in her youth.

"Sally" doesn't remember exactly what that was on her head. A Beaver mask, perhaps?

Yet even now, she dislikes the way her belted mom jeans and polo were designed to make even the youngest wearer look like she has hips. Was the Beaver Mask to distract from the outfit?

This one could be called "Outfits my cousin wore that I hated." (We're not going to talk about the Barney bib.) But the white boots and short-sleeve blazer are certainly a crime against fashion nature. And is it my imagination, or do the boots actually have FRINGE on the sides? Who knew the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders recruited so young?

When she went to school, things weren't much better for young Sally.

While others smiled their way through their pre-school experience, poor Sally faced the world in Acid Wash shorts. And with classmates like the guy on the left, with the fab pink shorts and matching tee, who could blame her for her tears in this photo?

It is a reaction to these family and school traditions that has made young Sally into the finely-honed fashion innovator she is today.

Of course, here was her competition:

Young Sally's sister was kicking butt and taking names. Look how she rocked that swimsuit, with the dance skirt that hopefully, someone else bought for her and made her wear because, sheesh, that is a piece of work.

But hey, young Sally wasn't takin' no guff. She's layin' down the law in this:

'Nuff' said. Peace Out.