Fancy Schmancy

"I was so pissed at my mom for making me get this short haircut." (via)

Oh little girl, now don't you fret.
There's better times ahead for you yet.

Without a sweater vest to hate,
nor short shag haircut to frustrate.

The boyish cut--did you have lice?
Or was your mother just not nice?

Ruffled collar and great big glasses,
Designed to entertain the masses

My Grandma had a pair just like them,
but Grandma's had a glittery gem,
on each earpiece--oh so fancy.
Don't you wish yours had been schmancy?

Is that Albert Brooks?

No wonder he made that film Mother.

"This is--believe it or not--my fifth-grade photo. Notice the Bicentennial flag in the background. My school was so patriotic! My mother forced the home perm on me. I didn't choose it. This is what my family refers to as my Albert Brooks period." (via)

In which I pose a query--possibly of a philosophical nature:

Is it fair for a parent to force something upon their child, only to laugh at it later? I think not. It is, however, perfectly fine for the rest of us to laugh.

Thank goodness the kids are so cute!

These cutie brothers bore the unfortunate cross of a mother who loved the matchy matchy.

"1984 or 4 I'd guess...Mum always made us wear matching clobber on school photo day - nice!" (via)

Okay, I did have to look up what clobber means and apparently, in England, it does mean clothing. Of course, it could also mean what happened to these boys for wearing matching outfits to school.

I love how huge the chest icon is on that sweater. Much cooler than the Le Tigre I sported in my passport photo at around the same time--pale blue with a striped ribbon in my hair, and white jazz shoes with baby blue laces to match my shirt.

This girl is so rockin' her tortoise shell glasses, who cares about her ugly handmade dress?

"Hello 1973! My mom made me this dress." (via)

I don't quite understand what haircut was happening here, and that fabric looks stiff and completely uncomfortable. That being said, I wish I'd worn my glasses with that kind of confidence. In my mind, she's the girl who might have had some tough times in school, never one of the upper echelon of the middle and high school social scene. But when this girl got to college, watch the hell out!

Another girl with glasses was saddled with the Laura Ingalls Wilder look as well.

"My dress looks like it belongs in the 1870s, not the 1970s." (via)

While she is lamenting her own Big Love-style dress, I am in awe of her sister's outfit. (At least, I'm assuming it is her sister.) I always like something with a built-in, short-sleeved bolero jacket--in MUSTARD.

Everyone looks better in an ascot!

Today's first photo makes me feel nostalgic. I, too, had a nightgown with a matching bonnet, although mine was rockin' a Holly Hobbie theme on the front. (When I met Holly Hobbie, a few years ago, I felt like I was in the presence of celebrity.)

"Me and my sis when I was three or four. Not only did I hate bedtime (afraid of the dark and unable to let go of the day) but look at that outfit. No wonder I'm so unhappy." (via)

Here's my own true confession. After my dad took me to see the Star Trek movie where Chekov had some kind of animal inserted into his ear, I would sneak out of bed each night to put on a bonnet or hat that covered my ears. I also had an irrational fear of earwigs.

This next special lady shares my distain for her glasses.

"12 years old, maybe 13. I made sure back then that as few pictures of me with glasses were taken as possible." (via)

Strangely, she does not mention her sailor suit or shoulder pads. I like the combination of red shoes and hairbow to add a little pizazz to the overall look.

Sometimes, our siblings recognize the horror of the items our parents have made us wear.

"Holy Cow! Would you get a load of my brother's outfit? I am at a loss for words. Also, does it or does it not look like I am wearing dentures?" (via)

My husband digs this kid's belted shorts, and feels a kinship with him after his own childhood outfits. Also, is this little boy crying or laughing?

Today's final photo is perhaps one of my favorites ever. There is almost nothing to say beyond what this boy's sister says.

"Is that an ASCOT?" (via)

Where did one even FIND an ascot for a child? It doesn't look like it came with the pants, since the colors are slightly different. Was it a matching set with the shirt and ascot? Available from the boy's section at JC Penney or Sears?

Also, are these two sitting in front of a piece of ripped wallpaper, torn from the wall in anger at this outfit?

I'm almost exhausted from the quality of this photo, and the idea that I will have to follow it up with more hated outfits. How can I ever top this? (Help me out--send your photos to myparentsmademewearthis at gmail dot com.)