Friday, April 30, 2010

Where is Chevy Chase in this photo?

"Ready for adventure.
Our blue Ford station wagon was packed, complete with the home made car top carrier, ready for our trip out west. My mom liked to dress us in matching bright clothes on trips so we wouldn't get lost." (via)

This photo is almost too sweet to be snarky about. But still...

Family sojourn
Ready for adventure, yes?
matching outfit joy!

Sturdy place to stow
Things that you will surely need
Plaid guarded on roof

I love Papa's hat
And Mom's scarf around her neck
Red plaid pants? Awesome.

On a holiday
But no Chevy Chase with you
I miss Christie B.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Yee Haw, Y'all

"Cowboy up ya'll...This is around 4th or 5th grade 1980 or 1981.
The school had a western theme for photos, and everyone had to have this set, complete with the hat and thing around the neck. My mom got wind of this and behold the shirt. Unbelievable." (via)

You Ride 'Em Cowboy
Casio watch on your arm
Digital is Cool

Where were you in school?
Either South in Bush country
Or on Broadway, Star!

Rodeo clothing
I love your neckerchief, boy
Feather in your cap.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Pastel Prostitutes

"This is why i blame my mother for all my problems.
Easter Sunday, 1973.
I still have arguments with her over the way she dressed us. seriously, look at these skirts. what the hell was she thinking?
To this day all i have to say to her, when discussing why I had no friends when I was younger is: YOU MADE ME WEAR A DRESS WITH A CLOCK ON IT!
Now I have to go find a picture of that dress. But for now, gaze on the ridiculousness of these easter outfits. Was she training us to be a weird posse of pastel hookers?" (via)

Pastel Hookers? All I can think of is my girl Donna.

Toot toot, ahhhh, beep beep. (insert whistle here.)
Toot toot, ahhhh, beep beep. (insert whistle again.)

Bad girls. Talking 'bout the sad girls, yeah.
See them out on Easter day,
Sportin' all kinds of fashion,
that they mama made.

You ask yourself-
Who they are??
Like anybody else, they wanna be a star.
And they never will be in these damn ugly outfits their Mom made for them because they are so hideous and awful and way too short and they make their legs look even skinnier and how is that possible? (Okay, off song there. Sorry.)

I desperately want to sing now, just to horrify you, but my husband doesn't think I should be singing Donna Summer. Hmmm.
I must also confess that my friends and I, despite being only 8 when this song came out, had whole dance routines made up to accompany it. And those said routines included our own rendition of a prostitution stance. Shaking our hips against a lamp post-scary.

None, however, equaled this rendition with Donna--and Twiggy! I know--Twiggy? You will soon see, however, the absolute power of the rockin' spandex jumpsuit.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Tacky in the 80s

"Tacky in the 80s.
What was my mom thinking dressing me in pink ruffles?" (via)

Is that all she has to say about this? REALLY?? If I didn't have a cold, I would be doing a recitation or ditty FOR SURE. Instead, a bit of poetry:

Freaked out baby, lying there
Starting to become aware.

"Will I grow to be like them?"
Holy Crap-this photo is a gem.

Dad in t-shirt, Mom in shock,
never expecting such a flock.

All sitting low against the "sky"
The kids? As teenagers, they'd rather die!

Girl in ruffles, tongue is out.
A bit of chaos there's no doubt.

Missing teeth and funky clothes,
So much here I could expose.

The whitest family I've ever seen,
And now they grace my little screen.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


Today's post is in honor of my son and the way his face looked yesterday before the dentist took care of, um, DRAINAGE. Ahhh, swelling...

"my sister's pigtails kill me, as does her awesome brown dress that I'm pretty sure my mom made for her. My face was all banged up from a crazy ride on a swingset and a subsequent trip to the emergency room complete with stitches." (via)

Does this technically qualify as a My Parents Made Me Moment? I'm not sure, but one thing I am sure of: Only a parent immortalizes their child at a time like this. (Remember those broken nose polaroids from 6th grade Mom?)

I like the ball point pen 1977 in the corner, and the painted brown brick fireplace which matches the homemade dress so nicely.

To me, everything about this photo say something askew. Messy hair, Scarface, Green carpeting, Brown recliner. My only regret--not being able to read the book titles on the shelf...

Monday, April 19, 2010

Then and Now

"So there I am, and there i was in 1975. A styling young filipino kid with freakin blonde hair. At some point, my hair went from black to blonde! But more disturbing than being a half asian kid with blonde hair is the corduroy outfit my parents dressed me in for this portrait. I mean, really...Plaid collars, cuffs, and pants? Plaid? Really?" (via)

But oh yeah--he has more to share.

"Horrified. That is my reaction to seeing this picture again, after all these years. Horrified.
There I was in 1981, still a good lookin' kid, ...And on picture day, this is how they dressed me. Blue V-neck sweater vest and that shirt. Oh GOD that shirt!" (via)

In my sphincter, I can feel the sound of that old timey photo album paper, lifting noisily from the stick 'em pages of cherished family memories. Crinkle. Crinkle. Crinkle.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Fashion Crimes of the Past

"Fashion Crimes of the Past.
If I wasn't cute as a button I might take more offense at this dress my mother made me wear for my third grade picture." (via)

Cute as a button, yes you are.
But this photo? It's bizarre.

Hearts and bowties, Fireworks?
I hope your parents weren't jerks.

Your look to me says 80s librarian,
or perhaps your parents were Bulgarian?

It's the background I find so mysterious
Did you choose it? Were you serious?

You and Mom, a clash of wills
You crave flash but Mom wants frills.

The end comes here in your school snapshot,
This round won by mom--Oh Rot!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Tres Chic

At first glance, this looks like a typical family vacation photo--a woman and her son and daughter, enjoying their summer holiday. But wait...

"What was my mother thinking? The stuff I had to endure because of those pants. She used to have me wear them for school, because she thought the grey ones were boring...and she was right. They were. But as a boy, you don't really want exciting pants.
Our R------ was funny. When having a photo taken, he would say "Act natural, act natural" and then stand with his arms out like a plane." (via)

Is this a travel ad to try to get German families to visit France? Families that dressed their poor sons in pink short shorts?
Colette's note: Everything has been emasculated in this photo. The Eiffel Tower and this little boy.

We both agree, however, that Mom looks awesome.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Polygamist Couture

"Apparently, Mom might have been from Utah.
I watch a lot of "Big Love" and in diggin around for a picture...I came across this old Chritsmas photo...(78 or 79 I think).
What is God's name was my mother thinking?
Little nerds on the prairie. Since when did my mother have a Laura Wilder fetish? We look cut right from the cast of Big Love. P---- looks ready to be married of to the prophet, and jesus,
K---- looks like Mork. I'm not even going to start on my short bus sense of style. And people wonder why I got beat up all the time in grade school.
This is just so wrong.
Of course, kids today dress like Britney after a cocaine bender so maybe polygamist couture isn't all that bad." (via)

I am in awe of this guy. Not just the photo but the wit to match. Well-played Mr. Polygamist Couture. Well-played.

One thing to mention. Super Person? Super person? SUPER PERSON?? Is that some kind of clothing tie-in to the Free To Be You and Me album? Because if it were, I believe my mother would have purchased such an item for me. You know, being that she was all women's lib and all that.

Let's have a listen and reflect on just---being.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Good Day Sunshine!

"Pully and Me. 1976. Playing down at the corner. I'm about 7. Ok, I have to say what was my mom thinking when she bought this outfit???" (via)

Was Pully a dog
who performed in the circus?
or was that just you?

A shirt or jacket
Hard to tell what this one is.
Plaid is always best.

Gonna be a bright
bright, bright, bright, sunshiny day.
at least on your legs.

Monday, April 12, 2010

It's Howdy Doody Time

"It's Howdy Doody Time!" (via)

Honey, you really shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure there is NO resemblance whatsoever. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Oh, um, Never Mind.
At the very least, here's a song for you:

Click to Listen

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Across the rainbow

"The Family before summer vacation 1993.
That's one fine fanny pack...and outfit. What was my mom thinking?" (via)

I know exactly what mom was thinking.

Who doesn't love them a little Rainbow Brite?

Friday, April 9, 2010

Dear Diary-I hate Mom's hair salon!

"2nd grade.
My mom made me this dress, and gave me this perm." (via)

"3rd grade.
I was so pissed at my mom for making me get this short haircut." (via)

Click to Listen

Dear Diary,
OMG-I HATE HER! I can't believe Mom made me get my hair cut so short. I had my school picture outfit all planned. That cute pink vest that Stephanie has too, and those jeans with zippers at the ankles that kind of look like they're Guess jeans, if you don't look at the back pocket too much. I was going to wear the barrettes I made with the braided ribbon that hangs down and has beads at the end.

And Mom RUINED it, like she ruins everything, because she made me get my hair cut like a boy. Also, she specially told Mrs. Ricca that I had to wear my glasses for my school picture. She wouldn't let me get those glasses tinted, even though I told her that Janine Trufilio has hers tinted. AND she wouldn't let me get Ray Ban sunglasses which I totally needed.

Last year for school pictures, she made me wear that ugly dress she sewed, and when I was on the swings at recess, Jeremy Caruthers said he could see my underwear because the stupid fabric was so thin. (At least they were my good underwear that say the days of the week on the back.) The only thing I liked about that dress were the little butterfly buttons. And she gave me that stupid perm. It's like she wants me to be ugly!

Tomorrow, I am wearing whatever I want--and I am so taking my glasses off for recess. Ok, Gotta Go! Have to call Stef and of course, SHE won't let me have a phone in my room!
Luv ya!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Austin Powers

"Why did my parents dress me like m&^$*^%%* Austin Powers? Why did they hate me so?" (via)

Is that SHAG carpeting he's leaning on? Yeah, baby, Yeah.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Playin' The Blues

"Gotta Love Those Pants!
She had a weird sense of fashion to dress me up man. Embarrassing.
I was playing my harmonica." (via)

Click to Listen

More like rockin' that harmonica, Blues Man.
A little somethin' like this...

I got pockets on my pants, now.
And I think they're Acid Wash.
My hair is all slicked down
I think Mom thought she dressed me POSH.

I don't got no chest hair,
For my low-cut shirt.
But I've got snaps on my pants for you girl,
And I might just be a flirt.

Got my big 'old 18-wheeler,
On the shelf behind my head.
When I am done here playin',
I'm gonna roll on off to bed.

Gonna wake tomorrow,
And Mom's outfit I do dread.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Gramma's House Dress

I love everything about this photo. Of course, my brother's clothing is the best part, but you've got the elusive Grampa O, Gramma in her trademark house dress, me in a coordinated Gramma-bought-this-outfit-for-me-from-Kmart ensemble, the date in the corner, the house number, the clay 'Ortons' plaque that Paul made for my grandparents at camp, the Dopey statue." (via)

Click to Listen
In your pinky K-Mart special, and your Lacy Socks
Haircut dated, shorts ill-fitting and still, this photo ROCKS.

Gramma in her House Dress, resplendent in 80s print
Brother Runner, in his shorts, surely dressed to Sprint.

If his thighs do rub together, I think it will be painful.
You'll glance over, snicker some, and give a look disdainful.

Grampa O, Elusive--at least that's what you say.
My suspicion? The 8th Dwarf, if Dopey had his way.

Perhaps faux brick does hide Snow White, behind your Gramma's dress,
In your pink, I see at least, you're a Damsel in Distress.

Friday, April 2, 2010

In Her Easter Bonnet

One last goodie before a break for the Easter weekend. (Back next week to make good on promises of new and improved posts to come!)

"C____ and Barbie. Easter, 1962.
I remember this day vividly. I was 6, and I hated everything about my Easter outfit! Hated the flat, straw hat (which I hate even more now after seeing how it cast ungodly shadows all over my face!), hated the dress, which was too tight for my...little body, and hated wearing socks. I loved my Barbie, though!" (via)

Is it okay to say the shadows are "ungodly" when you're talking about an Easter outfit? Just asking.

I, too, loved my Barbies--always provided by my best gay uncle since they were not something that was going to be purchased by my 1970s parents. My favorite, which I begged him for, was the hair change Barbie--half-blonde/half-brunette. Perhaps the Barbie folks were just really progressive and making the first mainstream multi-racial doll?

I also loved self-tanning Barbie--set her on a windowsill and all she was missing was that aluminum foil reflector and some baby oil to make sure she caught some rays. Too bad a friend and I went through a stage in 7th grade when we decided to make them all punk. Tattoos in Sharpie Marker, nose rings, and monstrous things done to my collection of Donny and Marie dolls. Poor Donny... Let's just say, it wasn't pretty.