Big Daddy Pimpin'

I start today with the confession that I'm still reeling from yesterday's ascots. ASCOTS ON THE ENTIRE FAMILY!!

How can it get any better than that?

Alas, I must try.

Today, I focus on one poor soul.

Here's how "Tony" describes this outfit:

"My brother Andy and I, dressed like little Mafia hit-men on Easter Sunday, 1968. Not everyone dressed like a hippie in the spring of 1968.

We're standing in the dining room of our apartment...We're most likely dressed up to go to an Easter dinner at my grandmother's house.

It looks as if we're wearing tweed. If that's the case, my smile is forced because tweed itches. And I hate itchy clothes. We're wearing white shirts and bowties under our overcoats. I'm guessing, but I think that spending my childhood dressed like a miniature old man may have given me the devil-may-care attitude I have toward clothing today." (via)

Looks comfy for an egg hunt, doesn't it?

My husband says that the kid on the left reminds him of Biggie Smalls. But then, double-breasted always makes one look barrel-chested.

Alas, Tony's clothing nightmare didn't end there.

"Me. 1974. Age 10. All dressed up and no place to ho.

We didn't dress like hippies in 1968, but we sure dressed like pimps in 1974.

I don't know what strange force drove my family to choose to dress me in this Superfly getup. At age 10 one could and should start exercising some choice over one's own clothes. I can attest that that didn't happen in this case. I didn't know what knickers were before I was presented with this outfit, so it's highly unlikely I would have asked for them.

This ensemble was purchased at the Lord & Taylor's on Route 22...Don't hold it against them. Also, we really can't blame my parental units. I mean, this WAS hip in those days. How were they to know that the only 20th century clothes that would never go out of style were jeans and a t-shirt? Nowadays, any parents who dress their kids like this could be brought up on multiple child abuse charges. But in 1974, this was the way to be seen.

Also, burgundy?? Burgundy?? Ok, granted, burgundy was the color of the 70s, but jeez Louise!" (via)

He thinks pimp, but I think this boy looks perfectly appropriate, for a stage production of the classic feature film Newsies. Anything that requires the wearing of a matching cap is always a good thing.

A question: Was this really hip back in the day? I don't think so Tony. Let's be real here. And yes, you can blame your parental units, in extreme cases such as these.

And again with the belted outfit! Built-in belts. Always fashion forward.

The one thing I cannot tell is if the shirt underneath his vest has a zippered neck. I remember these zipper pulls--large, round, decorative hoops. Somehow, for me, this breaks the formality of the outfit. I see a ribbed turtleneck, or perhaps a button down, but a zipper neck?

Of course, you know what would top this outfit off nicely? That's right--a matching ascot.

A Family that Ascots together

Make sure that you scroll ALLLLL the way down in this post because the end is absolutely NOT to be missed.

Today's first young woman asks the following question "I don't know whether or not I should be mad at my mom for this outfit." (via)

Yes, dear one, you should. Oh yes, you should.

"Clara"--titled this photo "Who are we and why are we wearing these awful clothes?"

She also says of her brother "He's laughing at my outfit!" (via) I'm kind of liking his stripy shirt, but I suspect big sister's dress was actually a nightgown. If not, oh my.

This is the kind of outfit I would have worn, if it were a nightgown, when my parents took me to the drive-in on a hot summer night. Since they knew I was destined to fall asleep in the back of the car, we'd stay for a double feature. The drive-in was where I saw Slapshot, which also meant it was the first time I saw a naked man's butt. (Remember when that guy takes his clothes off on the ice?) My parents thought I was asleep, but I remember peering through the front window, confused and bleary-eyed, but curious. The drive-in was also where I saw The Boob Tube and Kentucky Fried Movie, both classic feature films.

Today's finale leaves me speechless.

"This is a scanned photo of my father, my brother and I circa 1972 in our old apartment. My dad used to work in the Men's department of this large department store in Newark, NJ called Bamberger's, where he always brought home the latest 'hip' fashions of the day.

As you can see, both my father and brother are resplendent in their Herman and the Hermits finery, and I am doing what only be described as my best contemporary Austin Powers impersonation. I even took a school portrait in that get-up.

You have GOT to respect a kid in a silk, paisley-print ascot." (via)

I am completely in awe of this photo. I am loving this family and how serious these three look here. I am especially digging dad and I feel like he belongs in a film I wish someone had made. I also love how baby boy--and again, with the BELT--looks like he is sucking in his cheeks, looking mature to fit in with the older men in his life. I could try to be witty here, say more, but I feel like these guys really stand on their own, speak for themselves, make their own way in the world. Really, what could I say to top anything?