Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Flashdance, a supermodel, and a Child Bride

Today's offering is so rich, I am tempted to spread it over the course of two days. And I am almost at a loss for words. Instead, in the spirit of the holidays, I've decided you all deserve this little gift. A present from me to you. Most remarkable about today is that our little "Jessica" smiles through it all.

It's really the hat that is the problem here. And is that a farmscape or a clothesline pictured?

Apparently, Jessica didn't like the rain. But still looked adorable in her striped engineer pants and yellow slicker. It's later that things started to get bad...
Oh dear.
"Fourth grade. Dead Center in a striped shirt. Who thought that was a good idea?" Apparently, many parents since 8 out of 21 children, plus their teacher, were wearing stripes or plaid. Then there's the girl next to Jessica, who is either jealous, surprised, or smelled something yucko.
In kindergarten, Jessica's school tried something unorthodox. The relaxed, outdoor school photo. Some observations: First of all, this class had FOUR teachers. Wow! My favorite is the one in the front row, trying to look casual, sitting sitways on the dirt in her mom jeans.

Some statistics-eight children in jumpers or overalls, four little girls in collared dresses, and three pairs of red mary janes. And talk about diversity-this class has a black child AND ethnically Asian kid. Whoa!

Jessica looks pretty contented in her floral dress and green tights (bottom left), but the boy next to her looks quite concerned. But if anyone had something to be upset about, I think it's the girl in the brown shoes, red suspenders, and grey suit with a skirt so short, it can't be comfy to sit on that rock.

Some of Jessica's "favorites" come later in her youth.
"Flashdance had just come out and I cut the neck out of my sweatshirt." (Didn't we all?) "My mom said no school pics unless I put a turtleneck under it." Way to be a square, Mom.

While these photos don't go chronologically over the course of Jessica's life, it was impossible not to save our last three for last. First, our Tiny Dancer.
"Yep, that's me all the way on the left. I hated every minute of ballet, but I LOVED dressing my brother in that costume." Family reunions are fun at Jessica's house.

Even Jessica calls these final two her "personal grande finale." Does every little girl dream of modeling? Dolce & Gabbana anyone? Marc Jacobs? Perhaps a gig with Karl Lagerfield? (Okay, I never did, but maybe some do.)
Unfortunately, Jessica's modeling gigs were more like an American Girl Doll come to life.

This Mae West outfit, called "PARTY TIME" included "The Works!" with a boa, hat, skirts, and a leotard for mix-n-match fun. What scariest to me is that the age range is 6-12. Really? A 12-year-old here? And the skirt seems to be a bit sheer. Does the mix-n-match fun include a slip?

Finally, I must confess my own creeped-out feelings about the child-bride. Maybe it goes back to my great-grandmother's whole arranged marriage from Hungary, or maybe it's just that little girls in wedding dresses looks wrong. It's wrong I tell you!

Jessica makes a solemn bride here, honoring the seriousness of the occasion--again with the sheer skirt! This set came with the ring and the bouquet. Too bad it didn't also include a blow-up spouse. Okay, that sounds even worse when I'm talking about a child bride outfit. You know what I mean! Stop that!!

Until tomorrow--and keep those submissions coming... my parents made me wear this at gmail dot com.

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