It's Howdy Doody Time

"It's Howdy Doody Time!" (via)

Honey, you really shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure there is NO resemblance whatsoever. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Oh, um, Never Mind.

At the very least, here's a song for you:

Click to Listen

Across the rainbow

"The Family before summer vacation 1993.

That's one fine fanny pack...and outfit. What was my mom thinking?" (via)

I know exactly what mom was thinking.

Who doesn't love them a little Rainbow Brite?

Dear Diary-I hate Mom's hair salon!

"2nd grade.

My mom made me this dress, and gave me this perm." (via)

"3rd grade.

I was so pissed at my mom for making me get this short haircut." (via)

Click to Listen

Dear Diary,

OMG-I HATE HER! I can't believe Mom made me get my hair cut so short. I had my school picture outfit all planned. That cute pink vest that Stephanie has too, and those jeans with zippers at the ankles that kind of look like they're Guess jeans, if you don't look at the back pocket too much. I was going to wear the barrettes I made with the braided ribbon that hangs down and has beads at the end.

And Mom RUINED it, like she ruins everything, because she made me get my hair cut like a boy. Also, she specially told Mrs. Ricca that I had to wear my glasses for my school picture. She wouldn't let me get those glasses tinted, even though I told her that Janine Trufilio has hers tinted. AND she wouldn't let me get Ray Ban sunglasses which I totally needed.

Last year for school pictures, she made me wear that ugly dress she sewed, and when I was on the swings at recess, Jeremy Caruthers said he could see my underwear because the stupid fabric was so thin. (At least they were my good underwear that say the days of the week on the back.) The only thing I liked about that dress were the little butterfly buttons. And she gave me that stupid perm. It's like she wants me to be ugly!

Tomorrow, I am wearing whatever I want--and I am so taking my glasses off for recess. Ok, Gotta Go! Have to call Stef and of course, SHE won't let me have a phone in my room!

Luv ya!

Me

Austin Powers

"Why did my parents dress me like m&^$*^%%* Austin Powers? Why did they hate me so?" (via)

Is that SHAG carpeting he's leaning on? Yeah, baby, Yeah.

Playin' The Blues

"Gotta Love Those Pants!

Moooom!!!!

She had a weird sense of fashion to dress me up man. Embarrassing.

I was playing my harmonica." (via)

Click to Listen

More like rockin' that harmonica, Blues Man.

A little somethin' like this...

I got pockets on my pants, now.

And I think they're Acid Wash.

My hair is all slicked down

I think Mom thought she dressed me POSH.

I don't got no chest hair,

For my low-cut shirt.

But I've got snaps on my pants for you girl,

And I might just be a flirt.

Got my big 'old 18-wheeler,

On the shelf behind my head.

When I am done here playin',

I'm gonna roll on off to bed.

Gonna wake tomorrow,

And Mom's outfit I do dread.

Gramma's House Dress

"Socks.

I love everything about this photo. Of course, my brother's clothing is the best part, but you've got the elusive Grampa O, Gramma in her trademark house dress, me in a coordinated Gramma-bought-this-outfit-for-me-from-Kmart ensemble, the date in the corner, the house number, the clay 'Ortons' plaque that Paul made for my grandparents at camp, the Dopey statue." (via)

Click to Listen

In your pinky K-Mart special, and your Lacy Socks

Haircut dated, shorts ill-fitting and still, this photo ROCKS.

Gramma in her House Dress, resplendent in 80s print

Brother Runner, in his shorts, surely dressed to Sprint.

If his thighs do rub together, I think it will be painful.

You'll glance over, snicker some, and give a look disdainful.

Grampa O, Elusive--at least that's what you say.

My suspicion? The 8th Dwarf, if Dopey had his way.

Perhaps faux brick does hide Snow White, behind your Gramma's dress,

In your pink, I see at least, you're a Damsel in Distress.

In Her Easter Bonnet

One last goodie before a break for the Easter weekend. (Back next week to make good on promises of new and improved posts to come!)

"C____ and Barbie. Easter, 1962.

I remember this day vividly. I was 6, and I hated everything about my Easter outfit! Hated the flat, straw hat (which I hate even more now after seeing how it cast ungodly shadows all over my face!), hated the dress, which was too tight for my...little body, and hated wearing socks. I loved my Barbie, though!" (via)

Is it okay to say the shadows are "ungodly" when you're talking about an Easter outfit? Just asking.

I, too, loved my Barbies--always provided by my best gay uncle since they were not something that was going to be purchased by my 1970s parents. My favorite, which I begged him for, was the hair change Barbie--half-blonde/half-brunette. Perhaps the Barbie folks were just really progressive and making the first mainstream multi-racial doll?

I also loved self-tanning Barbie--set her on a windowsill and all she was missing was that aluminum foil reflector and some baby oil to make sure she caught some rays. Too bad a friend and I went through a stage in 7th grade when we decided to make them all punk. Tattoos in Sharpie Marker, nose rings, and monstrous things done to my collection of Donny and Marie dolls. Poor Donny... Let's just say, it wasn't pretty.