A Family Affair?

These parents either:

1. Had a great sense of Humor

2. Had an ax to grind

3. Hated the very idea of children

4. Aspired to a future of family laughter, at their children's expense.

5. Used some kind of discount coupons only redeemable at a store where everything had to be purchased in multiples.

"I LOVE this set of photos...I hated the matching outfits...but I managed to fake a smile. PJ was just completely unable to deal." (via)

PJ--I feel your pain, baby boy. Were you going sailing, in nursing scrub colors?

"The coats sort of conceal this fact, but the pants are a giveaway. MORE MATCHING OUTFITS." (via)

I am not sure that a sweatsuit actually constitutes an "outfit." And again--the scrubs green. Perhaps these parents actually just aspired to careers in medicine for their kids?

"Christmas 1990. Yes, more matching outfits." (via)

The Holiday sweater--always a good finale. (Is there such a thing as a Hanukah sweater?)

Ingrates!

"Wow. So yeah, one of my mother's hobbies involved putting me and P*** in matching outfits, color-coordinated with our bedroom, and taking what felt like endless photos. I look like I should be saying 'bored now!' here." (via)

I could care less about these children's matching outfits, but I want that poster so much I could just spit. Okay, and the red carpet with the funky blue wall is pretty rockin' too. This mom had it going on.

I think these children are just ungrateful. Yeah--that's it. They didn't DESERVE these outfits, or that poster which I should have, now.

Where's the flood?

"R**** and J*** in matching highwater pants and pink shirts buttoned to the top. What was my mom thinking!?!?" (via)

Here's what mom was thinking--you are out in a field, there could be large piles of cow dung and should you step in one, you'd only have to change your shoes and the pants would still be clean.

The shirt? Those I have no explanation for.

Me and Mini Me

"Sometimes I really wonder what my mother was thinking when she dressed my sister and me..." (via)

For what occasion would outfits such as these be worn?

I am wondering if the way to tell the younger child is the short pants-pigtails versus the "big girl" outfit--long pants and hair down. Very grown-up.

My favorite? TV trays. Nice. (Do those balance well on shag?)

Faux denim because, you know, the real stuff is so hard to come by

"1976-Kindergarten

My mom made this jumper. We had matching outfits." (via)

Mama was a seamstress

At least she thought it so.

Why she used faux denim?

We can never know.

A pattern meant for jumpsuits

or matching set of pants and coat.

Perfect with your cowboy boots,

Your outfit gets my vote.

Mama Matched Me-but she got the "sexy" version

"1976? I think I was 3 or 4 in this picture. Taken at my Grandma's house, I'm pretty sure my mum made my outfit, as per usual...

I think this was a Christmas dress. The scary part? Mum had one to match (only a little sexier for the adult version." (via)

What could the "sexier version" possibly be for this Stepford Wives/Big Love style dress? Perhaps a slit cut up to there? A shorter black ribbon in front?

I am particularly fond of the ornately carved dining room set, the crystal candelabra and glass candy dishes decorating the bar cart, the caramel brown carpeting, and the china hutch peeking from the next room. Ahhh-when faux Bavarian-castle-royalty-style meets the suburbs it always says classy to me.

Are you cruisin'?

"Circa 1987. My grandma made these outfits for my brother and I. He refused to wear this (can you blame him) so ***** and I had matching outfits." (via)

I picture these being made for a cruise, the entire family vacationing together, sullen brother in the room, listening to a metal hair band on his Sony Sports walkman. (The cool yellow one that looked so high tech.)

My other fantasy is The Circle Line, traveling New York harbor with Lady Liberty, guarding the wretched masses seeking freedom from handmade clothes, wherever they may haunt us.

Congratulations for standing strong, brother dear. No blousy shorts set for you!

Identical Cousins, Don't you know, in Midwest Lederhosen

"A shot from the late seventies...Grandma made us cousins matching outfits. I'm the one in the middle...and the discourse on my blog after I posted this one there (as well as a clarifying conversation with my mom) seems to indicate that I was biter in my younger years." (via)

They're cousins--Identical Cousins and you'll find.

They laugh alike, they walk alike, at times they even talk alike

You can lose your mind,

When cousins are FOUR of a kind.

For those who don't know, those sporty plaid pants would certainly be known as SLACKS-one of my favorite words to say out loud.

I call these Midwestern Lederhosen. Plaid, Pinafores, cowboy shirt, and just right for marching in an Old Home Days parade.

Happy Monday!

Some photos feel like a present for me

My feeling is that it is always the right time for some holiday cheer.

"Matching Christmas outfits. Endlessly humiliating." (via)

I think the girl on the rocker feels fancy and fabulous. Her sister, on the other hand, has a slightly demonic look on her face. Is she rubbing her hands together like a villain, thinking of her next evil deed and laughing mischeviously?

This photo feels like a little gift to me.

"Me as a kid with my parents in our matching outfits." (via)

Much to say. Thoughts coming faster than I can type. Almost can't control myself!

Bandanna fabric--always one of my faves. I love it with the matching afghan on the back of the sofa. My grandmother made those, and why were they always in pastel colors? Perhaps acrylic yarn only comes in those colors.

Next-is Dad high in this photo? Note that both he and mom are wearing t-shirts under their bandana shirts. I assume that this is so he can remove the shirts as soon as possible, once the picture taking is over and his damn mother-in-law gets off his case for once. He's looking for a job, damnit! And if he smokes a little weed, who does it hurt?

I am also in love with Mom's barrettes. I went through a phase of holding back my bangs like that, with little kid barrettes worn when I was in my grudge, living in the pacific northwest and wearing gas station attendant jackets phase. Why couldn't I have had a bandanna shirt too???

Finally, what's up with the date on this photo? Did she take a photo of her photo? I like the low tech approach. No scanners necessary.

Thank goodness the kids are so cute!

These cutie brothers bore the unfortunate cross of a mother who loved the matchy matchy.

"1984 or 4 I'd guess...Mum always made us wear matching clobber on school photo day - nice!" (via)

Okay, I did have to look up what clobber means and apparently, in England, it does mean clothing. Of course, it could also mean what happened to these boys for wearing matching outfits to school.

I love how huge the chest icon is on that sweater. Much cooler than the Le Tigre I sported in my passport photo at around the same time--pale blue with a striped ribbon in my hair, and white jazz shoes with baby blue laces to match my shirt.

This girl is so rockin' her tortoise shell glasses, who cares about her ugly handmade dress?

"Hello 1973! My mom made me this dress." (via)

I don't quite understand what haircut was happening here, and that fabric looks stiff and completely uncomfortable. That being said, I wish I'd worn my glasses with that kind of confidence. In my mind, she's the girl who might have had some tough times in school, never one of the upper echelon of the middle and high school social scene. But when this girl got to college, watch the hell out!

Another girl with glasses was saddled with the Laura Ingalls Wilder look as well.

"My dress looks like it belongs in the 1870s, not the 1970s." (via)

While she is lamenting her own Big Love-style dress, I am in awe of her sister's outfit. (At least, I'm assuming it is her sister.) I always like something with a built-in, short-sleeved bolero jacket--in MUSTARD.

Matchy Matchy

Some families make torture an annual tradition. And look at what lovely photos result!

"So when I was a kid, every year we had to do these annual photo thingies for my mother. She would wake us up too early in the morning and made us into perfect little angels. I won't ever understand why she used to dress us up in the same dress in different sizes, as if we triplets or something...

Well I had my full if it that day, thank you very much...Nor did I want to wear the shinny new mary janes she bought for me, because, well, it hurt my feet..." (via)

Do you think this photo was framed and on the wall of their home? Do you think there was an entire wall, filled with year after year of these? Dresses matching each year in a visual cacophony of light and color, frowns and shiny shoes. It sounds almost wonderful and a part of me envies Mom.

This woman hopes she and her sister were not alone.

"I assume we're not the only sisters forced to wear awful matching dresses..." (via)

Oh no, not at all. For at least today, she can share the comfort of strangers also forced into fashion disasters.

I don't think the next family is Mennonite, but it is hard to tell.

"Our mom dressed us girls in matching outfits only once, thank god! There she is, peeking out the window in the background...looking mighty pleased with herself." (via)

And why shouldn't she be? To get your girls to wear not just the dresses, but the head scarves too? That's a family joke of epic proportions, fodder for years of laughter to come. Mom should be proud!

This Mom made these dresses. And check out the matching shoes! Doesn't baby girl look happy?? (via)

And there is more to this photo than is shown here. In later comments, baby girl says "...shot me in the foot with a bb gun when I was wearing those shoes. They had a permanent dark colored indentation in the toe area."

What was going on at their family parties? Of course, I too knew a bb gun victim--"Gabe"--who, as far as I know, still has the bb that went up his nose. Ouch!

"My grandmother made matching mother-daughter dresses for my mother and I. Here we are standing outside the entrance to my mother's dance studio. I think this is a *very* early 1970s sort of outfit and fabric." (via)

Does this then count as my parent's parent made me wear this? All in all, I'd say Mom looks quite spiffy in her cute dress and red shoes. Kind of a hot ticket, outside her dance studio.

In fact, a few of today's entries seem to share an appreciation for Mom.

"Mama and Me. Popular then, the matching dresses. Still and all, Mama was a classy lady." (via)

"Dad, me, and Mom.

Yes, my mom sewed us matching shirts! It was about 1974." (via)

I like that the shirts look like bandanna material. And that shiny materials is also so figure flattering!

I suspect that the bows in her hair were made out of that old-school ribbon I don't think exists anymore. It was thick, and puffy, and tended to fray when tied around your ponytails all day. Kind of like cotton balls stretched into twisted ribbon. I loved when I got packages tied with it because it meant hair adornment galore!

Have any matching outfits of your own? Send them along!

I hated this dress

Sometimes, that's really all we need to say. I hated this dress! (And it doesn't matter how cute everyone else might have thought you looked.)

"pretend you like each other...ooo I hated that dress." (via)

"I hated my dress." (via)

"I hated my dress." (via)

Okay, I've really got to agree with her about that one. Lace, ruffles, the hat--that's a lot of look.

"My sister and I used to hate wearing the same clothes as each other but my mother still made the same clothes for us anyway. I was exceptionally proud of wearing this though because I had two additional straps and my sister didn't. Back then, I felt that Ma used extra cloth to make my set so I felt that I've won." (via)

You showed her! Ha!

Of course, big sister did get the red shoes, so who really won here?

"...in March of '58, the school had a formal awards banquet and dance. Mama and I went to Wichita Falls to shop for a formal. It took us an entire exhausting Saturday on sidewalks from one shop to another, in and out of fitting rooms. There was a strictly limited amount of money available to spend, and Mama had strict ideas about what was appropriate to wear.

She wouldn't approve, or couldn't afford, any of the dresses I wanted. I wanted floor length. She demanded street length. I wanted strapless. That was out of the question for her. I wanted white, pink, or black. White showed stains too easily, she said; redheads just don't wear pink; black was 'too old for me.' She liked stiff, rustling organza, and I wanted soft satin or velvet, or at least crepe de chine.

Mama picked my dress over my objections and I hated it. The shoes were hand-me-downs from her boss' daughter who had gone away to college. The nylon stockings had seams in back, opaque reinforced toes that showed in my sandals (i watend seamless sheers, of course), and were held up by a white garter belt.

Mama even bought my corsage, from a florist who was one of her regular customers...Our landlady wanted to take a picture of me in my 'pretty dress' before I left for the dance. Or maybe she wanted to get a picture of her new color TV and her grandson's portrait. She didn't even get all of my dress in the shot." (via)

As far as I am concerned, all this woman had to say was "OPAQUE REINFORCED TOES THAT SHOWED IN MY SANDALS." A fashion crime against nature. Of course, I could argue that just the concept of the stockings with sandals at all is the real crime, but when you add the double offense of the reinforced toe, it simply not right.

The final dress-hater for today is also not a fan of pink.

"As a young girl, I was forced to wear pink. I had pink receiving blankets, pink hair accessories, pink ballet clothes, and pink dresses. Just by being a girl, everyone assumed I liked pink.

WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
I HATE PINK!

I am in the back row of this photo looking miserable, bored, and humiliated. Calgon, take me away!" (via)

Strangely, she does not mention the ridiculous hair bow, which I find the larger issue-badumbum.
And is that a Raggedy Ann and Andy theme on the recital dresses? When I took ballet, I seem to remember a dance called the Rag Doll, but no costumes as spiffy as these.

Have a dress you hated? Send it along to myparentsmademewearthis at gmail dot com.

Big Daddy Pimpin'

I start today with the confession that I'm still reeling from yesterday's ascots. ASCOTS ON THE ENTIRE FAMILY!!

How can it get any better than that?

Alas, I must try.

Today, I focus on one poor soul.

Here's how "Tony" describes this outfit:

"My brother Andy and I, dressed like little Mafia hit-men on Easter Sunday, 1968. Not everyone dressed like a hippie in the spring of 1968.

We're standing in the dining room of our apartment...We're most likely dressed up to go to an Easter dinner at my grandmother's house.

It looks as if we're wearing tweed. If that's the case, my smile is forced because tweed itches. And I hate itchy clothes. We're wearing white shirts and bowties under our overcoats. I'm guessing, but I think that spending my childhood dressed like a miniature old man may have given me the devil-may-care attitude I have toward clothing today." (via)

Looks comfy for an egg hunt, doesn't it?

My husband says that the kid on the left reminds him of Biggie Smalls. But then, double-breasted always makes one look barrel-chested.

Alas, Tony's clothing nightmare didn't end there.

"Me. 1974. Age 10. All dressed up and no place to ho.

We didn't dress like hippies in 1968, but we sure dressed like pimps in 1974.

I don't know what strange force drove my family to choose to dress me in this Superfly getup. At age 10 one could and should start exercising some choice over one's own clothes. I can attest that that didn't happen in this case. I didn't know what knickers were before I was presented with this outfit, so it's highly unlikely I would have asked for them.

This ensemble was purchased at the Lord & Taylor's on Route 22...Don't hold it against them. Also, we really can't blame my parental units. I mean, this WAS hip in those days. How were they to know that the only 20th century clothes that would never go out of style were jeans and a t-shirt? Nowadays, any parents who dress their kids like this could be brought up on multiple child abuse charges. But in 1974, this was the way to be seen.

Also, burgundy?? Burgundy?? Ok, granted, burgundy was the color of the 70s, but jeez Louise!" (via)

He thinks pimp, but I think this boy looks perfectly appropriate, for a stage production of the classic feature film Newsies. Anything that requires the wearing of a matching cap is always a good thing.

A question: Was this really hip back in the day? I don't think so Tony. Let's be real here. And yes, you can blame your parental units, in extreme cases such as these.

And again with the belted outfit! Built-in belts. Always fashion forward.

The one thing I cannot tell is if the shirt underneath his vest has a zippered neck. I remember these zipper pulls--large, round, decorative hoops. Somehow, for me, this breaks the formality of the outfit. I see a ribbed turtleneck, or perhaps a button down, but a zipper neck?

Of course, you know what would top this outfit off nicely? That's right--a matching ascot.

A Family that Ascots together

Make sure that you scroll ALLLLL the way down in this post because the end is absolutely NOT to be missed.

Today's first young woman asks the following question "I don't know whether or not I should be mad at my mom for this outfit." (via)

Yes, dear one, you should. Oh yes, you should.

"Clara"--titled this photo "Who are we and why are we wearing these awful clothes?"

She also says of her brother "He's laughing at my outfit!" (via) I'm kind of liking his stripy shirt, but I suspect big sister's dress was actually a nightgown. If not, oh my.

This is the kind of outfit I would have worn, if it were a nightgown, when my parents took me to the drive-in on a hot summer night. Since they knew I was destined to fall asleep in the back of the car, we'd stay for a double feature. The drive-in was where I saw Slapshot, which also meant it was the first time I saw a naked man's butt. (Remember when that guy takes his clothes off on the ice?) My parents thought I was asleep, but I remember peering through the front window, confused and bleary-eyed, but curious. The drive-in was also where I saw The Boob Tube and Kentucky Fried Movie, both classic feature films.

Today's finale leaves me speechless.

"This is a scanned photo of my father, my brother and I circa 1972 in our old apartment. My dad used to work in the Men's department of this large department store in Newark, NJ called Bamberger's, where he always brought home the latest 'hip' fashions of the day.

As you can see, both my father and brother are resplendent in their Herman and the Hermits finery, and I am doing what only be described as my best contemporary Austin Powers impersonation. I even took a school portrait in that get-up.

You have GOT to respect a kid in a silk, paisley-print ascot." (via)

I am completely in awe of this photo. I am loving this family and how serious these three look here. I am especially digging dad and I feel like he belongs in a film I wish someone had made. I also love how baby boy--and again, with the BELT--looks like he is sucking in his cheeks, looking mature to fit in with the older men in his life. I could try to be witty here, say more, but I feel like these guys really stand on their own, speak for themselves, make their own way in the world. Really, what could I say to top anything?

What is that on my head?

From time to time, it's important to remember that not all fashion montrosities are from times past. Alas, we make the same mistakes as our parents.

This mother admits what she is doing to her own children, all for sake of her own grandmother.

"Okay, so about the matching outfits...NOT my idea...my grandma bought them and my aunt brought them back from Hawaii...Figured I should take a picture of them in the outfits and send it to my grandma. Aren't I a good granddaughter? Of course I am." (via)

Here is my question: When do we say "stop the insanity?" Enough's enough! We must end the generational passing on of such atrocities! Of course, the little girl in this photo has her own thing goin' here with the slightly worn off tattoos my own son still loves. Gummy residue always looks good in formal photos.

The next photo looks like fun was had by all at this wedding!

"My Mum (in black)

My dad (the only man)

Me...The little girl with the ugly outfit and the breeds.

the bride...I don't remember her." (via)

I sincerely, almost desperately, hope that she meant braids.

I, too, wore culottes in my younger days. What I like here, is that the culottes have been matched with a variation on tube socks. And as we've seen many times, white socks and black shoes! Classy.

Mum looks pleased to be there, doesn't she? As if she is sucking on something sour, or trying not to comment on the fact that her husband's ex-girlfriend was a guest at the wedding and didn't he know she would be there so why did he drag her to this backyard in god knows where to spent their Saturday posing by someone's front door, damnit.

And the blushing bride seems pushed awkwardly into that bit of shrubbery. Happy though, don't you think?

I heartily agree with the poor girl in this next outfit.

"I'm speechless about this outfit. I've always cringed when I've looked at the photos from this party." (via)

I think it deserves a second look, in context.

Nope, still just as awful, even next to that ridiculous dress the obvious "birthday girl" is wearing.

Perhaps more appalling than the outfit is the fact that this birthday party was CLEARLY HELD AT BURGER KING! Remember those parties people? Yup, I went to one for my childhood friend Paul--secretly excited because I wasn't allowed to have that kind of food at my house.

The problem was--what the heck do you DO at Burger King for the length of a children's party? There was no play structure, no organized activities, no funny characters to entertain. Instead, we ran crazily around the place, making lunch miserable for other diners simply seeking a bit of peace for the midday luncheon.

I liked the fries and whatever bizarro sundae in a cup they served us. Other than that, I remember being bored. But I did love wearing a crown.

The next young lady did not feel similarly about the lovely item she wore on her head.

"My mom made this outfit and then made me pose in the ugly thing. What the hell is that on my head???" (via)

If she would merely look a few posts back, she would see that this was the ever-popular bonnet, beloved by makers of pajamas and by women who made their children's clothes. (I am digging her sandals, although her feet are virtually disappearing in the sea of green shag--always a nice touch with panelling in the rec room.)

What's better than itchy brown wool dresses?

Two of them! These poor young women are still recovering from these little numbers.

"My mom bought...these matching brown wool dresses...we hated them!"

"To this day, I can't stand anything around my neck. And I still remember the scratchy, itchy feeling of that wool. Turf Toter (is that what she calls her sister?) got the worst of the deal...She had to wear hers, and then when I outgrew mine, she had to wear that one also." (via)

What's worse than the outfits your parents made you wear? My parents made me wear this, the hand-me-down edition.