Planning Ahead

"The most awful posed portrait ever. Sorry, Mom, Dad, but I have always hated this portrait. And yet, I'm sharing it with the world...Let me count the reasons - the baby fat, the bad hair, the pink frilly dress, the orange sport coat paired with a yellow shirt, the ugly "antiquing", and the syrupy smile. Basically, it's just not me." (via)

I love this Victorian-style photo, which I can easily picture in black and white or perhaps a daugerreotype. And I think this young one is misreading the orange sport coat. This was simply a case of parents looking out for the child's future career opportunities.

Century 21 anyone?

This lovely men's jacket, for Century 21, is full polyester, for only $59! What a bargain!

The women's jacket is even more flattering, but alas, only available to Century 21 realtors and agents!

See? These parents weren't dressing their children badly--they were looking out for their future!

My dad should have been in DEVO

"Hair apparent.

It's rare to find that family portrait where everyone is sporting their worst-hair-look-ever simultaneously.

I have my hair pulled back into one of my mom's patented 'ponytails so tight it will make your ears ring,' which luckily doesn't make me look dorky at all, no sirree. My dad has some kind of weird military/plastic Devo wig hybrid going on, and Mom's hair is so damn huge that she's topppling sideways from the weight of it." (via)

And the boys in the front just look dang shell-shocked.
In the family honor, a poem:

Girl with buck-teeth and
plaid dress and devo stylins
Dad is a hipster.

Mom's hair is heavy
clearly not as cool as the
dude man she married.

Isn't it great when
the Dad is the coolest one
in the family?

Tacky in the 80s

"Tacky in the 80s.

What was my mom thinking dressing me in pink ruffles?" (via)

Is that all she has to say about this? REALLY?? If I didn't have a cold, I would be doing a recitation or ditty FOR SURE. Instead, a bit of poetry:

Freaked out baby, lying there

Starting to become aware.

"Will I grow to be like them?"

Holy Crap-this photo is a gem.

Dad in t-shirt, Mom in shock,

never expecting such a flock.

All sitting low against the "sky"

The kids? As teenagers, they'd rather die!

Girl in ruffles, tongue is out.

A bit of chaos there's no doubt.

Missing teeth and funky clothes,

So much here I could expose.

The whitest family I've ever seen,

And now they grace my little screen.

Family Fashion-the teen years

The family fun doesn't end just because you get older.

"Me and my sis at around 15 and 19. I was a little punk rock then. Thus the multicolored hair. Mom made me wear that get-up, and push the hair out of my eyes." (via)

I have a similarly painful hair memory from when I got my passport photo taken at 16. Let's just say bobby pins, bangs, and a retainer do not a pretty picture make.

I also think every blazer is prettier with lace embellishment, and matching doily-fronted shirt.

I wonder if "punk rock" means she was wearing some kind of ripped jeans on the bottom, and later tried to pass that blazer off with some crazy Thompson Twins t-shirt underneath. That would show her mother, right?

Okay, this does remind me of when my dad came in to my room at around 15, saw my brand-spankin' new Circle Jerks poster and laughed his butt off for about an hour. Especially after realizing I had no idea what the band name meant. But hey, I loved Repo Man!