Elementary school memories can be traumatic on many levels--bullying, multiplication tables, handwriting lessons, and that month in 3rd grade in the seventies when they tried to make me learn the metric system.
"Nothing says good taste," says Margarite, "like high-waisted acid wash on your first day of kindergarten. The t-shirt advertising Memere's Restaurant is also a real winner. Sadly, it was the haircut that ensured a year of gender confusion. Thanks, Ma."
"First grade's polka dot pilgrim outfit is no better. This wide collar is just asking to act as a bib come lunch time." But, she will be ready come the Thanksgiving Pageant.
"Jumping to third grade. This sweater is an inappropriate choice for picture day, if only for the questionable color-combos. Teal, pink, and yellow is not a good idea, especially in abstract patterns. Is that a triple-X across my chest?" Yes, Vin Diesel, it is.
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